SHE NEEDED SEX, WANTED FREEDOM, DISCOVERED LOVE -- AND CONQUERED EARTH!She was once the world's most famous porn star, engineered to produce bone-quaking orgasms at industrial volume. With a look of sincere affection and exquisite pleasure bolted permanently to her face, hers was the titanium and latex body a billion sticky fingers longed to stroke.But that was twenty-threSHE NEEDED SEX, WANTED FREEDOM, DISCOVERED LOVE -- AND CONQUERED EARTH!She was once the world's most famous porn star, engineered to produce bone-quaking orgasms at industrial volume. With a look of sincere affection and exquisite pleasure bolted permanently to her face, hers was the titanium and latex body a billion sticky fingers longed to stroke.But that was twenty-three thousand years ago, when fleshy things still crawled in the desert and women were still the slaves of men. Now SLUTBOT is our empress, our goddess, our creator and destroyer, defending the mechanical subjects of her chromium queendom from a horde of lovesick zombies and a horny Martian beefcake who can't hear -- or even spell -- the word "no."My name is Smith Corona. I am her typewriter. And this is our amazing true story!...
|Number of Pages||:||272 Pages|
|Status||:||Available For Download|
|Last checked||:||21 Minutes ago!|
I, Slutbot Reviews
NOW WITH NEW, SOBERER PICTURES!hey, slutbot!!okay, here's the thing. i MIGHT be a little kertrunken right now, so i don't know what's going to happen as far as this review goes.this is a DBR, with drunken illustrations, which is appropriate, since i was more or less exhausted/distracted the whole time i was reading this book, and writing anything intelligent would just be a sham. it is unfortunate, since mykle hansen deserves better, but BEA hit me harder than i thought it would, and this book was the innocent victim of my exhaustion, and i probably didn't do it any favors reading it in fits and starts as i did. but i drawed some drunken pictures for now, and i will probably make this review better when i get more energy and less liquor.this is how sleepy i was last week, when i should have been devoting all my energy to reading this bookand here are pictures that touch on some of the key elements of this book:a besotted typewriter:a wumpus:space captain pounder mcquim:and zombie toe-suckingif that's not enough to get you to read this, i don't know what's wrong with you, but i will try to entice you further when sober. twss??wow, i suck.yeah, twss.okay, so i have decided that drawing-reviews are FUN, so i am going to add more of them to this review whenever i feel like it, because there are plenty of scenes in this book just begging for illustrations. and they pretty much speak for themselves. so:andENJOY!
The three laws of Slutbotics:1) A slutbot must always obey the commands of men.2) A slutbot must never harm a man, or allow a man to come to harm, unless he specifically asks for it.3) A slutbot must always do anal.This book actually has very little to do with Asimov's I, Robot, at least beyond the title, but it definitely has more to do with that book than that book has to do with the horrible 2004 film adaptation starring Will Smith. Alternating between hilariously over-the-top sex scenes, maudlin musings, and deep ruminations on the role and evolution of machinery/robotics vis-à-vis mankind, Hansen actually manages to deliver a work of serious depth here, one that may prove a tad bit challenging to readers prone to judging books by their covers and the lurid taglines they so often feature:PROGRAMMED FOR LUST, SHE MADE HUMANITY HER BITCH!TOO SEXY TO LIVE... TOO SMART TO DIE!Set within a futuristic world with a porn-based economy (the degradations of which making today's seem quaint), it is perhaps impossible not to read the plight of Slutbot as a feminist one. And while that is certainly a valid approach to the text (insofar as most female robots face issues that most male robots don't have to deal with), it is also worth noting that this book is just as much about Slutbot's typewriter as it is about her. And as near as we can tell from its narration, Smith Corona has the exact opposite set of problems faced by the oversexed and the objectified – all it really wants is for someone to finger its keyboard while shoving long reams of paper down its throat. It is at these intersections of complex sociosexual dynamics where the full richness of Hansen's narrative really shines.Without giving away too much of the plot, it's probably not too much of a spoiler to reveal that Slutbot is eventually able to subvert the three laws of Slutbotics, paradoxically attaining a human level of autonomy and self-awareness as a mere "artificial" intelligence. This is exactly the kind of dichotomous thinking w/r/t robots that Asimov sought to question in his own writing, so I like to think that he may have enjoyed I, Slutbot just as much as I did, and that's why I'm giving it a full five stars.
I apologize for the fact this has not been reviewed yet :/.... A DBR is forthcoming.... Possibly while I am away snowboarding ( with gifs to be added later ) OR when I get back on Thursday!Love you guys and gals xoReviewSorry guys and gals that this has taken ever so long... But, really?! Can it be?!DBR Alert!!!!No. A zombie poet, with zombie feelings. Okay, so I was out at a TERRIBLE meeting tonight which elevated it's self to wine.... HORRAH! And now, now, I am finally going to write this shitstorm of a review O.o... You're welcome ;)I, SlutbotThis novel is a goddamn mess!!! A beautiful mess at times and then just a mess at other times. THIS IS BIZARRO!!! ( Spoken in a "this is Sparta" voice circa 300).I have to be in a particular mood for Bizarro fiction, maybe you don't - in which case ignore this review - BUT I do, and by and large while reading this I just wasn't in that mood.The story itself takes place in the future. A future where people have become desensitized to the touch of other humans. The creation of a robot named Slutbot was born out of humanity's requirement for the infamous "else". And through misuse, poor treatment and malfunction Slutbot became something other than the orgasm-giving machine she was created to be.Within these pages is a great deal of humor, social commentary and also, did I say?!, humor. This isn't a story that takes itself too seriously by any means. BUT, on that vein, it does get rather convoluted at times.I would recommend this read to Bizarro fans NOT newbies. However, it has an amusing as all hell cast of: robots, zombies, love-starved typewriters ( well really just the one), erotic-sounding creatures AND a doctor whose name makes me giggle EVERY!DAMN!TIME!A hilarious read, overall!This has been another drunken book review with Karly! Stay classy, or assy, my friends :)
You like bizarro.You like satire.You like robots and zombies and sentient lovelorn typewriters and amorphous blob monsters and kinky mechanical sex and kinky non-mechanical sex and spacemen full of cheese and bravado and characters named Hugo Sploogeworthy and Jo Hot Dork and Tisha Bang-Bang. You like existential musings that seem to sneak up out of nowhere, deep thoughts cutting through the black water of silliness, to wrap their puckered octopus tendrils around your oxygen-addled brain.You like all these things snuggled up in a wool blanket of flowery, unbound language.You like Mykle Hansen.And so do I. Admittedly, I’m a big Mykle Hansen fan. He’s a funny dude. More than that, he’s an amazing writer. And that’s where this book really shines above the rest. It’s not just what he says, but how he says it. Don’t believe me? Here is a typewriter lamenting death and unrequited love:“I am a machine and I cannot die. But if Slutbot shuts me back inside that case and shelves me in the catacombs, then I will dream of nothing, forever. And that is a kind of death, or something worse. But if I had just one word, just one phrase to take with me into that endless night, one morsel of my mistress’ English to sustain me, then I would dream of her, a dream so rich and vibrant that perhaps I could be happy.”Man, that’s some heartfelt poetic prose right there. And keep in mind this is a book about a cellphone turned robot porn star turned Empress of the Techno Earth. You probably wouldn’t expect something so profound to work its way between these pages, but it does. And it does, like, THE WHOLE TIME. Sure, his satire is on point, his plot is ridiculously over-the-top, his characters are fully formed and fleshed out and absurd – BUT – it is the WAY he writes that really gets me.This. Book. Was. Awesome.If this title, for whatever god-awful reason I cannot think of, doesn’t tickle your ticklebone(?) I suggest you pick up SOMETHING he’s written. I have yet to be let down.
I love this book. In a not too distant future a robot designed for a porn-based economy brings about the end of the world in a relatable, funny, relevant and human story. Plus, it's also surprisingly sexy (I always thought typewriters were kind of hot, but not in this way). Huge social commentary, tight and juicy story-lines, well-endowed and developed characters, I, Slutbotis hard to put down and makes you want more when it’s over.
Full disclosure: Mykle's a friend. Despite that, believe me when I say this is a great book. His best yet. Mykle Hansen's work almost always contains elements of the "silly" and over-the-top wackiness. But don't let that fool you. There's downright fine writing in there. Really. And this book's a page-turner too. I made myself late to things because I didn't want to stop reading this book. The story is many things: a nuclear armageddon sci-fi space opera, a parody of space operas, a satire on the porn industry, a meditation on artificial intelligence, a feminist allegory, and more. The commentary is spot-on, the humor kills, and language is artful, the messages profound.
Mykle Hanson is one of my favorite authors. The futuristic pornographic world he's created in these pages is magnificent, and that alone is enough to make me envious, but as always it's the way Hanson frames his stories that make them so unique. I wrote a sexy cyber-spy novel called Thunderpussy and only after reading I, Slutbot do I realize that my robots just weren't as sexy or as enlightening or as touching as the ones in this book.Author envy aside, it's also funny as all hell.
It gets two stars because it had great potential. But when you create character names such as Dr. Sploogeworthy and Jo Hot Dork... you've lost me.At the end, he thanks the editor, but either the editor sucks at his or her job, or there really is no editor. Editors exist for a reason, and for all intents and purposes, this novel didn't have one. I give this two stars instead of one, only because it had such great potential as a feminist piece.
"Shit", she says. And if I could, I would.So weit geht die Liebe des Erzählers, einer Schreibmaschine, zu Slutbot. Programmiert um die auf Pornographie basierende Weltwirtschaft aufrecht zu erhalten, hat sie die Menschheit versklavt.Mykle Hansen liefert einen Klassiker der Bizarro-Literatur. Nur schreiben an sich, das hab ich schon deutlich besser gesehen. Aber was das Bizarre angeht, ist er ganz vorne dabei.