When Ravid Veilyn received word of his mother’s illness, he scoured the empire for the rare and powerful reagents needed for her cure. The last, the coveted xevrothen, could only be found in the treacherous Gairtax Mountains, from which few returned.There, he met a madman who sought dominion over death and used the lives of innocents to fuel his twisted paradise. Ravid wasWhen Ravid Veilyn received word of his mother’s illness, he scoured the empire for the rare and powerful reagents needed for her cure. The last, the coveted xevrothen, could only be found in the treacherous Gairtax Mountains, from which few returned.There, he met a madman who sought dominion over death and used the lives of innocents to fuel his twisted paradise. Ravid was to be his next victim.But when Ravid called upon a childhood story figure, in the hopes of praying on the man’s superstitions, he got more than he bargained for when the Veiled Rider answered his call.Now bound to an ancient demon without hope of salvation, Ravid begins to learn the world is not all it’s painted to be....
|Title||:||the veiled rider turning of the wheel|
|Format Type||:||Kindle Edition|
|Number of Pages||:||271 Pages|
|Status||:||Available For Download|
|Last checked||:||21 Minutes ago!|
the veiled rider turning of the wheel Reviews
I was really disappointed in this. I bought it on Amazon because it was recommended on Goodreads and it was only a dollar and I thought--heck, it must be worth a dollar. And there were some great ideas in this. The organization was rough--really rough--but I could tell that the authors worked pretty hard on their world and love it.Unfortunately, this had absolutely the worst proofing I've EVER seen. Did they use the wrong homophone every time on purpose? They used you're instead of your (and vice versa), reign instead of rein, serf instead of surf, shone instead of shown, plane instead of plain, taught instead of taut, baited instead of bated, and others I've forgotten. Then there are the wrong words that don't even sound the same, like dolled instead of doled, gal instead of gall, sooth instead of soothe, and rapport instead of report. There were so many of these errors, I gave up marking them. Then the grammatical errors, using apostrophe-s instead of the proper plural form (other's instead of others, for example); confusing lay and lie (common, but still); conjugating verbs improperly; changing tenses mid-sentence; and, of course, grossly misusing archaic grammar ('thy' means 'your', not 'you', etc.) Missing words and extra words everywhere, ambiguous pronouns (using he and him for two different people in the same sentence, in a paragraph with no names in it). And you know if the proofing is this bad, the editing will be nonexistent--and it is. The story was rambling and barely coherent, with all those very interesting ideas churned in a morass of sloppiness.But hey, I only paid a dollar! So was it worth that dollar?NO!!! All I ask is for an author to get a friend who can spell and proofread to read through the work! Seriously. I'm not even talking about editing! And if you don't know ANYONE who has a good enough grasp of basic middle school grammar that they can proofread your work (not perfectly--plenty of self-published stuff is rife with errors, this book is just way worse), then you'd better be able to do it yourself. I've read un-beta-ed fanfic with better proofing than this. If you can't do it yourself, and you don't know anyone who can, and you can't ask someone on a writing board to do it for you, then you shouldn't publish your work for money. Period. I don't care if you charge one cent, it's insulting your audience. Okay, well, maybe not if you charged one cent. Heck, I'd probably even have been okay with the $1 if you'd had something in the foreword talking about how you desperately need some feedback to improve your work, or how people should please get in touch with you if they'd like to beta. But this work was presented as complete. On Amazon.I bought this book because I thought it was m/m romance, and it certainly wasn't that (we don't meet the potential love interest until the very end of the book, and before that, Ravid is straight.) But if it had been proofed to the level of mediocre fanfic, I would have been satisfied. I may even have given it 3 stars, rounding up from 2.5, for the raw ideas, despite the fact that the story arc is more like a rolling hillside. As it is, I'm angry I paid these women for a work they didn't even bother to get proofed by an amateur beta who knows the language, when I've read far better from (and donated way more than a dollar to) people who don't get paid. Shame on Ms. Raine and Ms. Shae.
This book is not for kids, and not for narrow-minded people.This book is a story about a young man trying to save what family he has. His only help is a demon-god (The veiled Rider) who might need his help more than the young man needs him. I loved the way the Veiled Rider didn't seem to know what to do with the human, and the clueless stumbling of the main character when he realized he couldn't get away from the Veiled Rider no matter where he went.I found the story well written with captivating characters and a story line interesting enough to keep reading. There were a few more quiet chapters (especially after the main character recovers from his first adventure) where I would have loved a more prominent hint or two at the bigger conflict. The main character seemed blissfully unaware until near the end. But maybe that was the author's intention, and it was nothing that hindered my reading pleasure.The only (minor) drawback were some missing explanations. A few events or backgrounds could have used a little more explaining. For the reader, some things were difficult to understand because the main character didn't explain and neither did anyone else. But this was a minor point and one that's surely alleviated in the next books of the series.I'm looking forward to the sequels.